Sunday, January 6, 2019

My Lymphoma Journey


Dah lama sgt rasa xtulis dalam blog ni. Password pun ibu xtahu dah apa. Dulu masa tulis blog just bahasakan diri "i". Sekarang ni dah biasa dgn panggilan ibu. Lama xtulis dlm blog ni. Sebab dah xingat password. Pagi tadi rasa nak login blog . Ingatkan dah xboleh login, alhamdulillah boleh. Bile tgk, last update pada 2007. Sebenarnya phone memory ibu dah full dengan gambar. Sayang dlm phone byk gambar ibu,muhammad, banyak kenangan ibu dalam phone ibu. Ibu tgk last blog ni ibu update dah beberapa tahun lepas. Ibu banyak tulis kat instagram pasal hidup ibu.

Tahun ni dah 2019. Ibu xingat pun tarikh harini even ibu baru double tab kat phone. Tahun 2016 Allah uji ibu dgn sakit kanser, Breast Lymphoma. Ibu go through 6cyles of RCHOP chemetheraphy. Masa tu kanser ibu baru ade kat breast. Lepas ibu completed regime yang tu, cancer ibu metastasized kat Brachial Plexus. Masa kimo yang ni ibu tido atas kerusi 55hari. Ibu go through 12cycles of chemotheraphy with the insertion of CBD, sebab sehari dr masukkan 12hine air. Selepas kanser ibu bersarang di saraf ibu, kanser tu merebak ke otak. The moment it reached into my brain, i felt that my life is so difficult. Ibu jadi xingat, tarikh, bulan, jgn tanya ibu😂 

Dah banyak ibu tulis kat instagram. Ibu nak simpan gambar-gambar lymphoma journey ibu kat sini dgn gambar Muhammad sekali. 


 Ok, senget benget gambar ibu upload, xingat dah macam mana nak update blog😂 nanti nak simpan gambar Muhammad plak kat sini☺😊😊😊

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Baby and Mummy

Salam everyone.
Alhamdulillah after almost 4months of getting married He rewarded us with this greatest give. Our soon little munchkin;) Oh my Godness, i couldn't describe the first time i discovered that I am pregnant. After one week i was late for my period, i checked with UPT but the result was invalid (maybe my fault cause i checked it too early in the morning, mase tu ngah mamai lagi, haha) Then i checked it for the second time, which was on that time i was in Ledang, Johor for an IELTS course. After the two bars appeared i felt like nervous, excited and everything had mixed up together. Then i texted my husband first, followed by my family, friends and like telling everyone in the world! Haha My husband and my mum were the ones who were much excited on that time. On that time im just 5weeks in pregnancy. Yet, the day after i started lose my appetite to eat cause i feel fatigue and nausea all the time. Starting from that day i couldn't even eat chicken, which is used to be my first choice in every dish. I started cannot eat something that tastes any spices or herbs, i will feel nausea. Now, i only cant eat sweet and sour kind of food. I cannot smell others' perfume (including my husband's perfume) as well..haha I cried without any reasons, sometimes. And my boy need to console me without asking me the reason why i was crying, then i will be ok, haha Ya, but i is what will happened once u get married, but it will be different between one to another. Now, only i realise how hard for my mum to raise me up since i was in her womb, masyaAllah, i cannot pay you for all your sacrifices and pain that u went through in raising me up Mok. MasyaAllah.

Even though you felt extremely fatigue, nausea all the time, it is a greatest feeling having someone in yours, indeed.


Monday, May 26, 2014

Cause Intan Loves Cooking!

Salam and good evening everyone! Hope everyone had a lovely Monday today! There's nothing interesting to be shared. It's just about the food that i had cooked. I am very keen in cooking. I deadly love cooking! Cooking is just a very great way of fulfilling your day and as a stress reliever as well. I really love it and i can't wait to go in into our new homie cause i want to put my big oven there! not so big actually, haha i can't wait to bake, i had plan some recipes ahead (lasagna, pavlova). Even though having a piece of pavlova is worth at Delicious or Serai, i guess i will be happier if i cook bake my own version of pavlova. After getting married, i've cooked everything to my husband. Everything is simple, yet i feel happy, to serve him with my cook, at least i know it is clean :) 

TRADITIONAL COOKING (must-have-budu) haha
kerang rebus + budu+ masak lemak udang+ ikan tenggiri goreng + japanese cucumber and budu!

    tomatoes' and long beans' slices + ike singge + fried chicken +mango' slices + budu!

masak lemak ketam + ikan tonggol goreng + mix veggies + budu!

Asam pedas + jering + mango slices + ayam goreng + budu!

 Seafood and Chopped Chicken and Capcicum + Alfredo Pasta + Tea O

Spiral Pasta with minched chicken and frankfurter!

Pita with Grilled Chicken + Purple Cabbage + Salad + Baby Tomato + Cheese!hee

 Colek pauh!

Colek jambu! yumm

 Katok puru! Sedapnyo ;'(

 Mental-struggling. Eating my salad, while husband was having his rice! dush!

 Grilled Chicken Patty and Mix Salad!

 Patty again and banana smoothie! love

 For my smoothie! add the grapes just to give another sour element!

 Chicken and Squid Maggi!

 Squid + Chicken + Extra Veggies!

 Pavlova at Serai! nanges;'(

 Red Velvet + Pavlova


Cooked these Japanese dishes!i googled the recipes online and i made those! Miso Shiro + Donburi

Ok bye, i am so sleeping now, actually this is a real view in my hotel room, but really had a feeling of making sure this blog is being updated. I nver know, Secret Recipe's Pizza is so scrumptious! soooo cheezyyy! Better than Domino and Pizza Hut, just a but tasteless! hee

I post on my cooked food just because i feel they are too cute in a picture;p

**nite people**

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Ramsay Hunt Syndrome

Salam everyone. Today is Tuesday and i'm taking a leave as all the lecturers need to finish their AL, so do I. I woke up for my Subuh at 5.30am today and performed my prayer. After that i back to my bed (it's being ages i don't do this;p), and i naturally woke myself up at 9am. Then i took a bath and performed my dhuha. I feel sooo hungry yet i know that's it's gonna take long for me to prepare my heavy meal which is lontong (as i planned it on the last 3days) haha. Then i watched my current favourite channel, My Kitchen Rules! But, it's the episode that i had watched yesterday, then i started my cooking, made some lontong with masak merah chopped chicken and made my lemonade without sugar. I really like it. It is good in avoiding me taking soo much sugar yet my boy hates it! hee

Ok, back to my real thing to be shared on this entry. It is about my disease Ramsay Hunt Syndrome or basically known as Bell's Palsy. At first once i was diagnosed for this disease, i felt so worried cause it involves my face part. This disease starts with an infection on the outer side of my left ear, at first i thought that i was being bite by any insects, i felt that it's normal but i could perceive an uncomfortable hearing and i felt like having a fever. Next morning, once i got myself ready to work, as usual i put on my lipsticks on my lips i realised that i could put my lips together to blend my lipsticks on well. It is so strange but i just ignored it. I went to office and tasted something in the office, i felt it is hard for me to chew food. When i had my drinks, there will be leaking on my left mouth. And my tongue felt numb once i ate something. It was soo frightening. After i had settled few things in my office, i went to a clinic and the doctor said that it is a nerve problem named Bell's Palsy. The infection had infected on my 7th nerve which the nerve that is connected to all my face including my eye, nose, lip. This is a condition where half of my face will get paralysed. I'm soo heart broken on that time. I don't have courage on that time yet i tend to be relax and literally console myself that i will be ok, and i told myself that i'm the selected one by him to get this disease. I believe that God just wants to test me and make myself even stronger in my life. And i know that Allah swt lends me this as he wants me to remember Him as he still love me. Once i got into my ride, i called up my husband, he said that everything will be fine. Few minutes later, he whatsapped me a link on this disease. I read it calmly until i felt asleep in my office. 

The next day,  i went to Kuala Terengganu Specialist alone. I drove 300 miles alone to get the treatment as my husband far out in KL on that time. I put all the strength to myself drive there. I don't tell this to anyone yet including my parents and family. After seek some advices and check up  from the doctor i stopped at McD, plans to have a burger for my lunch. Sadly, it is so difficult for me to have a solid food on that time, i felts like disable person, i recorded myself up through my phone while having my burger. It's getting harder for me to chew. Even i had my fries, my face and mouth looked so odd! 

Doctor gave me series of steroids and antiviral to cure the infection. After one week of medicine i feel relief. I never done any physiotherapy as it is so hard to make the treatment and need to wait for a long turn. After some traditional massage on my face and body, plus finishing all the hurtful medicine, and with God wills i am getting healthier. Now i'm gaining back my symmetrical smile and grin, alhamdulillah.

Thank you Allah swt for this disease. I learn a lot from it. Thanks to my husband for all your sacrifices, your work, time, and money. To my mum, who had taking a good care of me. Family, friends, and my students for all your endless prayers. 

I love you.

 2weeks after my Bell Palsy. My boy brought me out for a movie, after series of home-rest. I love you husband;)

This is the progress of my smile. From assymetrical to symmetrical smile;) How Bell Palsy could change my face. And alhamdulillah after 3 weeks, im totally back to normal. Thank you Allah for this speedy recovery. I'm so grateful.

I'm so thankful and grateful as i still could talk as some could not. Thank you Allah. May you forgive me for all my wrongdoings and sins;'(

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

A little wedding of us

Assalamualaikum...Yes, it's been a long time since i last updated my blog last 5 months. Yes, my bad;'( but deep into my heart i would always love to see my blog is being updated. With the existence of instagram, everyone is ignoring his and her blog as ig is helping people updating their everyday's routine in more flexible way i guess. Take a selfie, post it, write a few wordings as a caption, then ready to be viewed! easy rite, hee it suites more on our palm-sized gadget rather than viewing blog on it. But, i had promised myself back then, that this will be a specific space for me to view back all my joy and pain by just clicking on the specific date. Therefore, i will keep my promise and this will be keep updated is a promise, teeheee

Once writing this, i can't describe what is my feeling. All being mixed up together. I felt uneasy sometimes with people around me. They are sometimes unpredictable, sooo tiresome and what is crystal to me, they are parasites. I am sorry to say that but yes i don't understand some people feel uneasy with me if i get more than them. I always pray to Allah swt not to let my heart and my day filled with hatred and hates to people. I would prefer just to ignore anything unrelated to me. I pray to Allah that i could control myself, my emotions, my feelings, my actions..i want to be someone who will take cautions on every of my talk and action, to my students, colleagues and most important to my husband. Yes, let's stop writing about them. I will just ignore them and i will talk to them only when it is needed. Let's make your life easier Intan. You are not an angle to be loved and to be liked by everyone around! (that's what i will always tell myself!)

Alhamdulillah, i am now a wife to Mohd Rosdee, someone whom i knew last 9 years. Alhamdulillah Ya Allah. He eases everything throughout our wedding. i never thought that we were getting married that soon. But what i knew God eases everything to us. From money, time, event all seem easy for us. And money doesn't seems a big problem to us because we did everything on our own. Starting from my wedding dresses, veils, cards, goodie bags, pelamin, deco on meja makan beradab, deco in bride-groom room. Sounds crazy right but yes, i did it! hee I enjoyed my time doing that and i am even missing those times, diy-ing and preparing is lotsa fun kay! For the pelamin i bought the chandelier, flowers, vases, kain for the tirai and did little shopping at Ikea for the deco stuff just to add a modern element into my diy. For my dresses, for akad and sanding both i bought in Jalan Tar and GM Klang. Just cheap ones;p For my sanding, cause the peach peplum is so simple, i sewed laces and beads on it. Omagad, my very first time sewing actually but i sewed with assurance, it looks good for me.haha For my shoes i bought it from Vincci, just a simple shoes but i like the pattern and detailings, and the most important is it is one of my favourites to class now;p

Let's check them out!

Solemnization (31 January 2014)


this veil is originally my engagement's veil, i re-sewed and changed the colour of the beads! ;)

 Reception One (1st February 2014)

 High school friends

 Teslians Diploma

Puas hati btol ngan make up Kak Tie..sampai petang pon make up ni still ok, time ni dah kul5

Sorry, my boy is not so good with all the props that i made.haha

Reception Two (2nd Feb 2014)
 i forgot my hand bouquet, so my big bro, Guo took off some hibiscus from someone's house....pon boleh..haha

mummy. love u! muah!

 I am very concern about colour, i really want green for my Bertandang (act i want lime green), but i couldn't find the dress with that colour with my size, so i decided to custom made it. I bought the kain and brought it to a tailor=)

 he can never act normal in front of camera..that's my boy! ;p

our version of Mary Poppins=)

 my in laws made this pelamin. ok lah kan? no need to pay to the bridal.hee

The Yusoff

My Diy Project! Yeehooooo!
 My diy pelamin! ;)

bride-groom room! ;)

storybook! ;)

my wedding shoes for all the three events! ;) soooo wearable;)

 after nine years..alhamdulillah;)


 this is my kinda diy makan beradab table deco..gubah siap2..mase hari sanding men letak jekat situ.

 my diy goodie bag from kertas goreng pisang;)

yes yes i sewed the beads on that doily paper! ;)

pray that we both will be together till jannah. Ameen.

btw, we never assigned any photographers for our wedding, my brother in law and my younger brother were our official photographer, bahahaha wedding is not an event that we should be worried of, just think of something simple and memorable, insyaAllah there will be more barakah in our marriage=)

To my eating partner, movie partner, movie partner, beach partner, i loveeee u soo much! sorry for all my wrongdoings for these 3 months being your wife! i will be your baby forever;p

sorry for a veryyy long entry...enjoy it! hope it could give an inspiration for those who are looking for a diy wedding! All the best! hee